Friday, August 23, 2013

This One's On Me

I went to to check my e-mail a few days ago, and I came across an interesting looking article about a "controversial" tweet from Dr. Phil.  I was curious, so I clicked on it...and it really got me annoyed.

So Dr. Phil has about a million twitter followers, and hosts a daytime show and is all around known generally for his advice and discussions on real life, often deep topics.  He posted a question on twitter asking his followers to give their opinion on whether or not it is ok to have sex with a girl if she is drunk.  There is apparently a news story or a trial going on with teenagers about this topic (I can't comment on it at all since I really do not know the specifics).  Any way, the tweet was deleted hours later amidst a firestorm of criticism.  A petition was launched asking Dr. Phil to apologize and to produce a show that shines light on survivors of rape and sexual assault and begin a national conversation about the specifics of consent...

So somebody- a famous, serious, talk show host- attempts to get dialogue started on a very important topic and instead, people get offended and demand apologies and blah blah blah.  We live in a day and age where everybody wants an apology for everything.  Where the simplest words or phrases are no longer able to be uttered for fear that they will be dissected and taken to the moon and back.

There are so many things wrong with this that I could write for days and still not even hit on the absurdity of what this culture is becoming.  But I don't really want to do that.  I really just want to point this out and use it as an example of what I don't think we should be doing.  Listen guys, not everything needs to be take so seriously.  Not every comment is out to hurt you, or tear you down, or get up on a pedestal for some activists' purposes.  Sometimes a joke is just a joke, a comment just a mindless comment, and a topic just food for thought.

I think about this when it comes to my own illness.  Yes, I am very intense when I write some of my blogs, and that is because I am writing on my own volition, not in response to something from society.  In reality, I laugh.  I laugh like, all the time.  I am the one laughing like a hyena hours after the joke that wasn't even really funny was told.  I do not take myself or this life so seriously that I cannot enjoy the things that were meant to be funny.

When a cashier makes the comment "you're young and healthy, I'm sure you can carry all that yourself!", I don't immediately take to twitter and talk about how you shouldn't judge people based on their outward appearance because you never know what they are going through.  No, I either laugh or I casually say "I know I really should be able to, but I have this medical condition and it makes me weaker than that grandma over there."  Why?  Because the cashier REALLY didn't mean anything by it.  Because I choose not to look deeper then it was intended to be just to make a statement. Because life is meant to be lived, not harped on.

You all know my friend Chris by now.  One of my favorite things about him is the way he cracks jokes about his being in a wheelchair.  Go on his facebook page and you will die laughing at the way he and his friends joke about each other.  Just the other day I texted him a pic of my new (and incredibly large and dorky) pill case I had to get for my new medication.  And you now what?  He laughed and said he needs to get himself one cause his is too small!  Jeff's new nickname for me is "twitchy" because when my pills wear off the pain makes me shake and move very disjointedly...and it looks really funny.  I am not going to go off on him about the insensitivity he is showing and how people with nerve damage should be treated with respect...what I actually do is playfully punch him on the arm while laughing hysterically and making even more exaggerated twitching movements.

Sure, we have our moments where it's not so funny, and there are the times when I just say "this sucks, I don't want to be sick right now."  And yes- as I told you last week- there are times where I am self-conscience and insecure about what I look like or what I am unable to do...but all in all, I feel the most important thing to surviving hardships is to pick yourself up and laugh a little.  Or a lot.  And let others laugh as well because in all honesty most people do not say things to be vicious.  It's usually just a poor choice of words, a slip of the tongue, or just you being way to sensitive and finding what wasn't intended to be there.

My first instinct right now is to apologize if I am being to harsh or if you are a little upset by what I am saying, but somehow that feels a little counterproductive to this post don't you think?  But I'll tell you what- I am going to go ahead and share a few pictures of myself or of things I have laughed at with my friends and I am going to let you jump in, chill out, and have a little laugh on me, ok?

I told Chris this would be him in 20 years.

Cause sometimes you find yourself at the hospital at 4am, so why not take a selfie and show the world how stinkin hot them hospital gowns are.
Hmmm, what to have for lunch...

Picture of me and Chris (no, he did not get offended and yes he laughed)

New pill case.  Super exciting.

Me wishing Chris were in the car with me so I could park closer...

Taken by my son in the middle of the day when I literally was not even awake yet.   Imagine looking like you do first thing in the morning all the time?  That's my life!  Really- it's ok to laugh.

I'm sure I could have found much more amusing pictures online, but I wanted to literally take things out of my own life and my own interaction with my friends to show you that it's ok to make a joke in the midst of difficult times.  I laugh at myself quite a bit.  So go ahead and find some humor in your life, and if you just can't right now that's ok...but at least don't add bitterness or hurt by finding a negative in everything around you.

Love you go enjoy your day, and I will see you on Tuesday where we will be making bagels together!


  1. Ashley, I found this to be one of the most practically enlightening blogs yet...maybe I just really needed to read it. Thanks so much for sharing and helping us find truth, love, and grace in this politically correct, overly sensitive world we live in.

  2. I got one of those fabulous passes. I've had seniors HONK and POINT at me, assuming I don't need it. As you know, I often do. (When I'm feeling well, I don't use it.) You can roll up into that prime parking with me anytime cousin! Keep giggling!

    1. Thats great!! Im riding with you!! lol

  3. Hi. Can I find you on FB? I would love to catch up with you. 2 people in the last week have mentioned you to me and how we are a lot alike. Having an extremely rough time keeping the smile up right now and would love to chat. Btw I am from New Hope and I believe my mother in-law is a member of your church. Hope to hear from you soon.

  4. I am VERY new to blogging. I have an account because a friend had a blog a few years ago (well most likely still does lol) I haven't posted anything and don't know how to get around just yet. I have to say I forgot what name I have myself and it made me smile. :-) its the little things...

  5. Hi!! I am on Facebook, please friend request me I would love to talk with you! I am Ashley DeLeo Tyler on Facebook...friend me and we can def talk!