Friday, July 26, 2013

I Sing Because I'm Free

I have been singing a lot lately.  

I love to sing.  I never really used to sing, it is only in the last few years I really started using my voice.  And even so, I mainly stick to singing worship at church or doing special songs for church events.  It is a little weird to sing publicly since I am not a real singer, but it always feels amazing to lead others in worship of God.  I am becoming much more open to using my voice in any way that He wants me to.

But it's when I am alone that I really sing.  When it's just me and a piano- those are the moments where I get lost.  Singing takes me somewhere else- somewhere away from the here and the now.  I am not sick when I sing.  I am not scared, or hurting, or confused- I am so blissfully free.

At any given moment you can catch me walking around my house singing.  Doing dishes, folding laundry, tucking in the kids- it's all done with a song.  Yes, it's fun to sing all different kinds of songs, but it's the songs to God that are the ones where my soul comes alive.  When I sing I am passionate- I take all my feelings and pour it out into the music.  My voice becomes my emotions, and that is a wide range.

But to understand my passion you have to first understand why I sing.  Many years ago there was a ten year old girl who sat in a church watching a Christmas play.  At the end of the play a pastor got up and began to talk about Jesus.  I had no idea who Jesus was- yes I heard the name before but I did not know what it truly meant.  I did not know that He was the one who could fill that place inside that I knew was yearning for something.  That He was the one who gave His life so that my soul would find its.  And in that moment, nothing mattered.  It didn't matter that I was living in a broken home.  It didn't matter that I never went to church.  It didn't even matter that I was only ten years old, and what does a ten year old really know about life?  Oh I knew.  In that moment, I knew.  I still know.

I did not look to see if anyone was coming with me, because it really didn't matter.  I leapt up out of my seat and ran to the altar- I ran to give my life to Jesus.  I sang my first real song that day.  And I have never turned back.

That was the day I truly knew what life was all about.  I was awakened.  I am free from the weight of this world.  I am free from the ache of struggling in my own strength.  I am free from this prison of pain called my body, because I know this is not the end of the story.  I am free because I am His.  And you ask me why I sing?  I sing because my soul simply cannot be quiet.

I sing because I am free.

1 comment:

  1. Freedom on the inside: no one can take that from you. This is why the caged bird sings! Keep singing, Ashley. Selah.