Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Let's Talk...Interview with my Husband

Good morning!  As you know, my husband Jeff wrote on my blog this past Friday.  I was so thrilled to have him write something, as you only ever get my words and my perspective.  I love my husband so much and I eagerly anticipated reading his post...and as usual, his words grounded me and reminded me to keep my eyes on the Lord.  
Today is Tuesday which is the day for chit-chatting on my blog, and I am excited that Jeff agreed to be interviewed!  I compiled the questions as well as I could, and I think they are a pretty good bunch of questions.  Some are funny, and while I told him to go ahead and please be honest, he was still (mostly) gracious when answering questions about me!  
So...here is everything you wanted to know about a father of 6!

  1. What’s it like having 6 young kids?
I would describe it as a beautiful mess.  It is exhausting and yet extremely rewarding.  I see each of my kids as a blessing from God.  On a practical note, my favorite time of the day is bedtime, lol.  

  1. What was your wife like when she was pregnant?
I would say there were many moments that I feared for my life.  Pregnant wives are scary- they are like an emotional barracuda.  I tried to survive by running out for food orders whenever requested, and sometimes even if it wasn’t requested just to cover my bases.  The last 2 pregnancies, when she was going for a drug free birth, she nearly bored me to death watching birthing videos and documentaries.  As the man, you are pretty much just trying to get through it as quickly as possible.  The sooner it’s over the better it is for the both of us!

  1. Did you watch the births of your kids?  What did you think about labor and delivery?
I wasn’t sure with my first that I was going to want to watch any of it, but it was the most amazing day if my life and I ended up watched the whole thing.  It was a miracle.  The next five, I didn’t really have any interest in watching.  I just wanted to see them once they were out, not so much the actual “birth moment”, lol.  But I always had tears for every single one of their births.  There is nothing quite like it.  As far as labor goes, a lot of our kids came at tough times of the day- I usually had little to no sleep right when she went into labor, so I was always exhausted.  All labors are nerve wracking for the husband because you are worried about your wife and the baby.  But the last 2 births- the drug free ones- I was very excited watching because I knew how hard my wife worked and how much she wanted a natural birth, so it was great to watch her achieve her goal.  I personally like to sit back and watch the midwives, nurses and doulas be the main people- I prefer to be a quiet support (aka, sleep in the chair until baby comes out).

  1. Do you help out with the kids a lot at home?
Oh, this question feels like a trap.  My wife can write her rebuttal next week, lol.  From my perspective, we have fairly well defined roles.  As long as the kids are awake and I am home, I know that I need to parent with my wife and I try to stay active in that.  That being said, Ashley does almost all the dishes, cooking and laundry- sometimes to my shame, lol.  I tend to help a lot with diapers, changing the kids clothes, clearing the table, and taking care of a chore or two that my wife doesn’t like to do (garbage, recyclables, some light house cleaning).  I try to be involved in my kids lives as much as possible- I always kiss them goodbye before I leave, I tuck them in bed and pray for them.  One of my main goals that I am working on is to establish a consistent time of family worship and prayer.  

  1. What’s your wife like in real life?  Is she the same as she seems on her blog?
I think my wife is very “what you see is what you get”, which is why I think it’s a great blog and why I think it is such a well received blog- because it’s pretty much unfiltered.  One of my wife’s old bosses once described her as “sugar and spice”- very accurate.  She is sincerely sweet and can also be spicy, and I think that comes out in her blog.  If she’s ticked off, you’ll hear it in her writing.  I am a much more private person than my wife, but she is very transparent and people respond to that.  She is passionate for God, has spiritual depth, strong convictions, and is a real fighter.  She inspires me in my life and her writing is just a natural extension of who she is.

  1. What’s your best piece of advice to husbands?
Honestly the best advice I have for husbands is to be willing to say you’re sorry- a lot, lol.  I work very hard to maintain a strong friendship with my wife.  We don’t ever let fights linger- I forgive and ask for forgiveness quite a bit.  I need to always check myself- it doesn’t matter who is right or wrong, I need to make sure I am treating my wife right.  If you are willing to do those things it allows you to properly lead in the marriage.  It really is laying your life down and loving your wife like Christ loves the church. You have to model that behavior if you want a good marriage and it takes a lot of patience on both sides. Each person has to give 100%. Ultimately if you are always working on yourself as man and also working on your relationship with God, then some of these things will fall into place a little more naturally.  But it is a lot of work personally and relationally.  You have to really be willing to sacrifice- you can’t be afraid of that.  But it should be- and it is- the most rewarding relationship we can have on this earth.  My wife and I say all the time how amazed we are at how great our marriage is- I am very thankful for it.  

  1. What’s your best piece of advice to fathers?
I feel like I am still learning on this one.  One of my biggest prayers to God is that He would help me to be an incredible father to my kids.  A fear of mine is allowing the busyness of work and the home become an excuse to not put in the effort it takes to be a father who is truly present in my kids lives.  I want to know my kids individually and I want them to know me.  As much work as it seems like it is right now whie they are little, I lnow I am going to blink and they are going to leaving the house.  I don’t really know how to accomplish this, but I know it needs to be at the top of my prayer list.  Several years ago a good friend of mine passed away.  Landen was a really great guy who truly loved and served the Lord.  After he passed, I sat with his father and asked him if he had any advice- I wanted to know how he raised such a great man.  His answer has always stuck with me and is what I strive to do with my kids.  
He said he did these three things:
-We always kept the Word of God before them
-We let our kids see us make mistakes and just be real people
-We let them see the power of the Holy Spirit

  1. What is the funniest incident you have had as a father?
I think the big red clown van I have to drive around is pretty funny.  This proves that a father of 6 young kids needs to have a sense of humor!

I hope you enjoyed hearing from my husband this week!  He is not only my best friend and love of my life, but he is the man whose example I strive to follow as I watch him follow Christ.  I am so thankful to have him in my life, and I think he was a great sport to participate in this!!

On a separate note, I had an incredible experience this past weekend and I am really looking forward to talking about it with you on Friday.  Until then, I hope you have a wonderful week!

1 comment:

  1. I've loved the past three posts, you're family is awesome! Can't wait to hear about your trip!