Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Let's Talk- Almost There!

I am going to apologize in advance, because if the topic of home-buying doesn't interest you, then this may be boring!  Surprisingly enough, I have gotten a lot of questions about the process, so I am going to answer the "what happened next?" questions.  But there is one question on child discipline at the end if you're interested!  I was out with some girlfriends yesterday and we chatted about discipline, so I will be sharing a tidbit on that.

1)  When does a closing date get set?
I mentioned in an earlier post that we have a tentative closing date of feb. 28th.  When you sit down with your real estate agent to sign a bunch of papers and make your first offer on a house, that is when you choose a closing date.  You leave enough room for everything to get done and you choose a date.

2) Ok, so you made an offer, it got accepted...now what?
After an offer is accepted get ready to move at a pretty fast pace.  You have 3 days for your lawyer to look over the paperwork and approve it (we just used the lawyer from our bank/lender- we never even spoke to him, the paperwork just went to him).  The you have 10 days to have any inspections done that you want.  If you do it past the 10 days, then if something is wrong it doesn't release you from your contract to buy the house.  So get it all done within the 10 days so you have a chance to back out if something is wrong.   If inspections come back bad, you either walk away or negotiate with the seller as to who is going to fix the problems. If all inspections show that everything is ok then an appraisal is done on the house.  You need to pay for this- for us it was around $350.  Because you can only borrow up to 90% (I think thats the amount) of the house value, it is important for the house to not come in less than what you agreed to pay for it, otherwise you may not be able to finance the whole house.  But if it comes in at the right amount, then you proceed.  You will be getting a letter in the mail from your lender either approving or denying your loan.  If they approve it, there may be some "conditions"- for example, we got our loan approval letter and ours was contingent on our turning in a couple more things (a signed letter saying we will get flood insurance, proof of our tax return, etc.).  So once you get those things back to them that they ask for- thats it.  You sit and wait until closing.

3) Anything else?
Well, we have not closed yet so I really can't answer this with finality, but there are a few more tid-bits you should know.  You will have to have homeowners insurance before you close.  You have to pay for an entire year's worth immediately and bring proof of that at closing.  Also, anything over $1000 that goes into your bank account needs to be accounted for.  It is fine if a family member wants to help you financially, but don't just deposit their check into your account or it will get questioned.  You can receive up to $10,000 as a gift, but you have to fill out paperwork before just taking that money and depositing in your account.  So just be aware and do your best to keep your bank account free of any major transactions until the process is over.

4) Ok, here is the discipline one.  The general topic was about how to effectively discipline, and here were my thoughts, which were my friends' thoughts as well.
Consistency and love.  Your goal is to break their will but not their spirit.  You are to train them in love, and the best way to train is with consistency.  It really does not matter what the actual punishment is, as long as it is effective and given every single time.  Punishments vary with each child at each stage.  Find out what works for your child- dont just use a standard punishment.  The goal is to have something happen that they do not like so they are trained not to do the undesirable behavior.  Once you find a suitable consequence, you MUST ENFORCE IT EVERY TIME!  Yes it is tiring, but unfortunately there is no way around it.  If you are inconsistent, then you will not see an improvement in the behavior you are trying to correct.  Love your kids enough to see that they are molded and shaped correctly.  There is nothing wrong with loving your child through a punishment either, but you must refrain from getting into negotiating.  You do not even have to yell- you just need to calmly enforce the rules and explain why, but thats it.  Do not respond to their pleas, attempts to negotiate, etc.  If my kids have a big tantrum about it, I simply put them in their rooms and explain that they may come out when they are done.  End of story.  Discipline is a loving act and you need to see it that way.  Yes it is hard to see your kid upset, but you love them enough to gently and firmly work out behaviors that are not pleasing to the Lord.

Well I hope you all have a wonderful week!  I hope to be blogging soon about my new house, and I promise to post pics when the time comes.  See you all on Friday!!

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