Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Beacons

I am so happy to finally have some time to sit down at my computer and write.  Writing has always been he main way I am able to express my soul, and I love the art of finding just the right words to convey what I am feeling.  With everything being so busy lately, I have not felt at rest inside because I have all this stuff in my heart that I need to get out.  It's nice to finally sit and write.

So I know I have been talking a lot about the house and how much it means to me, but don't get me wrong I know I am not the first person on the planet to buy a house.  I want you to know that it's more than just a house to me.  I have moved around all my life- when I was little my dad was in the Navy and my family were no strangers to moving.  By the time I was 7 years old, I had lived in four different states.  Honestly, I loved it.  I love change and I always found it very fun to move around.  Then when I left for college at 17, that began a new chapter of moving.  In the 9 years Jeff and I have been married,  this will be our 8th move.  I have to say, it's not as fun as it used to be!  This house represents a chapter in my life that I have never lived before- establishing roots.

My roots have always been in God and nothing else.  Even friendships I have found extremely difficult in my life.  In college, people seemed to develop these amazing friendships- they would hang out together, visit over breaks, and to this day are still very close.  I have never been good at that.  I have always had a secret place inside that was just for me and God and nobody else, simply because when you live a transient life you get used to not making roots either with a place or with people.  I have always kept everything at arms length to make it easier for the inevitable move.

But now here I am.  Buying a house.  Planting some roots.

It's quite an interesting feeling to think you may very well be somewhere for more than 4 years, which is the longest I have ever been in one place.  It's weird to think that this house, this church, these people are all going to be a real part of my life.  There is no way on earth for this to really sink in, and in fact it is not something I will even have a clue about for quite a while.  But this house is a symbol.

When I first met Jesus at 10 years old, I knew He was calling me to live a life set apart for Him.  That the road was not going to be an easy one, but would I still follow Him.  I have always known my life is not my own and that His plan for me was one of sacrifice.   Buying a house here in Amsterdam is giving me a chance to start to open my self up to the heartbreak of loving and being called to a people.  The people in the city of Amsterdam are the people I am being called to lay my life down for.  That I may serve them, love them, and lead them to Jesus.  That Jeff and I might commit to being a beacon of light and hope to a lost city.  We experienced this to some degree in Albany, but we were serving and aiding someone else's vision and passion and calling rather than our own.  But Amsterdam feels like it may be our calling.

So like anything else, I will pray.  I will live the best way I know possible.  I will let Him take my roots and grow them deeper.  I will seek to make my house a house of prayer and a place of love for the fatherless.  I will work to make my home a light to others and an altar to Him.  I will strive to remember that it is HIS home, not mine.

I know that moving may not suddenly change everything that is difficult in my life, but it doesn't have to.  Sometimes the very lighthouses we seek to set up for the lost also serve as a reminder to us.  As I work to make my home a light, I have a feeling it will always serve as a beacon to myself as well- both of the places He has brought me from and the place He is leading me to.

"But the Lord is faithful, who shall establish you, and keep you from evil." 2 Thessalonians 3:3

2 comments:

  1. Enjoy. When M and I built our house in Galway, he had never lived anywhere for more then 4 years either! It was our 3rd house together but we didn't stay longer then 4 in either of the other two. We stayed 22 in that house. LOTS of laughter too. Enjoy your roots!

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  2. I'm so happy for your family's new home. God is a wonderful gardener. He knows when we need to put down roots. He loves to transplant us, repot us, move us around as he optimizes the growth, but there are times to let a plant just root itself deep in one spot. Those are usually fruit bearing, which need stability to produce. I'm excited for what's in store for you!

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