Wednesday, April 21, 2010

3 Days After

Well, today is Tuesday morning...It is the 4th day off the fast! I actually miss the fast very much. There is something so wonderful about fasting, that it makes you miss it when it's gone. There is a 3 day fast with our church coming up this Sunday, so I think I will do it. I weigh in at about 148/149. I am trying not to gain a lot back, but I know I will gain some back.

So much has happened to quickly, I don't even know where to begin. I am not even going to really talk details...at least not yet. I am not at liberty to say specifics yet, but here is the gist: I prayed very, very specifically about something during this fast. I got my answer early on in the fast, and spent the rest of the time praying for the same things to be spoken too in my leader. Last night, our leader sat in our living room and said he felt on his heart the very things I prayed God would speak to him. And then, God woke my husband last night and burdened him with something that I had in my heart.

I know this is vague for now, and it even sounds a little "weird"...but let me assure you, that is not the case! I have seen a HUGE and DIRECT answer to my prayers!

Give me a few weeks, and I will be able to blog the details. Until then, keep praying...God answers ;)

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Day 40

Well, in a few hours I will have reached day 40. Amazing.

Tonight was a wonderful night...a great way to end the fast. When my husband came home from work I immediately left the house. I really just wanted to kill time so the day would end, but I ended up going to the church and practicing some worship for Sunday. It felt nice to play and sing songs about how great Jesus is. Then as I was leaving I saw a group of kids on the street corner. I told them I would buy them all ice cream if they would give me 5 minutes. Several of them told me I didn't have to buy them ice cream, they would just listen. So while 5 boys and one girl sat on a stoop, I told them all about Jesus. How much He loves them, and how they can have new life in Him. I talked with one boy after who I could tell felt God tugging on His heart. He told me he needed more time to think about it, and I made sure to tell him exactly how to give his life to Jesus. Then I went home and put the kids to bed and had a couple from the church over our house. We just got to tell them we loved them, encourage them, and pray for them. It was a sweet, sweet night.

Now what am I going to do? Please don't think less of me, but I plan on watching a movie and then going into the kitchen at midnight to eat! I am so grateful to God for this fast. I don't even think I will know all that has happened during it just yet. But I do know that God did an amazing work in me, and gave me and incredible gift. I weighed 146 today...30 pounds less than how I started. I know I will gain some back, but I feel so great. Excited and ready for whatever He has next.

Thank you to Jesus for this gift. Thank you to my husband who supported me every step of the way, giving me the courage to finish. And thank you to you for sharing this journey with me.

God Bless
Ashley

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Day 29-35

I will wake up tomorrow and it will be Monday...and then my fast ends Friday. Amazing! In just 5 more days I will have completed a 40 day fast. It is something I have always wanted to do but I never actually had a plan to do it. I think I always just assumed I would do it "one day." I know that God has sustained me...this truly was a "God thing." He gave me peace and sustained me, all the while working in and around me. My husband was also a huge source of strength for me. He continually encourages me and tells me what an amazing gift this is. I know the deeper I got into this fast the less I saw it as a big deal. I don;t mean that the fast was not a big deal to me, but that suddenly 40 days did not seem that long of a time. haha

Well, about 2 days ago my stomach woke up. I am now physically hungry again. No more mind-battles, now it is actually physical too! My stomach makes loud growling noises, and it is all I can do not to devour whatever food I see. I do confess, i licked my finger a few times while cooking this weekend! I am looking forward to Friday...it will be the end of this amazing fast and the beginning of eating. Things just have a whole new outlook for me now and I am excited to see all that has come because of this.

Physically: I am weak! Not severely weak, but I definitly feel weak. I don't look gaunt, but I am getting slight circles under my eyes. I am very cold a lot of the time, especially my fingers and feet. I am more tired than before. Despite these minor things, I feel great! I look really good too...I don't look sickly.

I plan on blogging again Friday night, after I have eaten again. God is so good!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Day 22 - Day 28

What a wonderful day to blog...the day that Jesus rose from the grave! It is an amazing thing...Everyone is still sleeping and it is still dark out. I can almost pretend that I am one of the followers of Jesus...I wake up for a normal day until I remember that my Lord is dead. Everything seems so somber, so hopeless. What will we do now? Everything we have been living for is gone. And then others begin to wake up and and preparations are made for the women to go and work on Jesus' body...and imaine, just imagine! Showing up to his tomb with heavy hearts and leaving rejoicing! Don't look for Jesus in the tomb, He is not there!

Today celebrates the most important day in history...the day that opened the doors between us and God. I am so honored to be fasting on this day. To be on the 28h day of denying myself food so that I might be closer to Him.

Being on a 40 day fast in amazing. It is very hard to describe, but my huaband's comments can show what I mean. He talks about me being a different person since I started...I no longer ever complain about his scedue (something I always did!). He says I have barey complained or acted miserable because I am not eating. He says he can literally feel the effects of this fast. It has lead to major things hapening in his life too. He says through this fast God has placed something in his heart. EVery year he plays softball on Friday nights with our church team. They play in an unChristian rehab league. But 2 nights ago he felt the Lord wake him up in the middle of thenight and speak clearly that he is not to play this year but is to instead walk the streets on Friday nights and talk to people about Jesus!! I am so excited! He had an excitement in his spirit and is was so wonderful to see. This is one direct answer to a prayer that I have been praying on this fast.

There is a nearnss to God when doing this. There is a keen sense of spiritual things that is so amazing it makes me want to do this again someday! I have just never experienced anything like it and I am SO THANKFUL TO THE LORD for ordaining this fast for me. I am seeing prayer answered...not just random prayers, but the prayers of faith put forth on this fast.