Sunday, March 14, 2010

Day 7

Yesterday was a challenge! I feel great during the day...well, a little weak and foggy, but hunger wise I feel great. Then the evening comes and i am laying in bed with my stomach growling! Oh well...
My body is definitly tired/weak. I have this "here but not here" thing going on. Internally I feel sharp and alert, but I can't seem to get my body to agree! I am a little foggy too...like I walked into the store and wandered around like I had no clue why I was there! haha I know this seems a little contradictory, but there is not an easy way to describe it. I don't feel tired once I am awake, and that it helpful seeing as I don't get sleep anymore anyway! I am the master of sleep, but this fourth baby pushed me over the edge...which is funny, because he the easiest baby I have every had. But when there were just 3, i could handle the rotation of middle of the night wake-ups. I am talking about night terrors, bad dreams, one waking the other...stuff that you cannot control. But add a fourth one to the mix and even though he is very easy and rarely eats at night, he still has his reasons to fuss or wake up...so between all four I am up once or twice every night! This fast has really helped with that. As much as I could sleep if left alone in bed, when I do wake up I feel awake and not groggy or sleepy. So that's nice.

I had a dream that I ate! I ate something and then I just said, oh thats ok, I will just continue on like it didn't happen. But then I realized that not only would that make it harder, but it didn't really make the fast a fast! haha So I was very upset in my dream and I even had to think about it when I was in that half-awake stage...I was upset because I did not know if I had really eaten or if it was a dream! But thank goodness, it was only a dream.

It is Sunday morning..Daylight savings! Hubby just came and picked up the boys. I still don't go to church yet...I wait until the baby is 2 months old before brining him to a place with lots of people. I need to use this time wisely. I feel a call to go a little deeper now. This first week I was just trying to pass the days. I would read, watch a movie here and there, talk, etc. But now I feel like the Lord wants me to start actively engaging with Him. Taking some time in the day for prayer and reading, instead of just quickly reading and listening to worship music at night. SO that it what I will try and do. So I will straighten up the house, feed the baby, then try to have some good prayer.

Tomorrow begins week 2! So very excited to be on this journey!

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