Friday, March 12, 2010

Day 5

Well, I have officially been fasting longer than I ever have before. The longest fast I have every done was 4 days..I did it once and I drank any liquid I wanted. This fast, incase i did not mention is going to be a real soup, no milk, etc. It is a water and juice fast. I figure on Easter I might have broth, simply because my family goes out to eat and I don't want to stand out or be rude. But maybe not, maybe I will just get juice. I will let you know on day 28.

So 4...was EXCRUCIATING! I read everywhere that day 3 is hard and the last day of actually hunger, but not for me! I was so cranky and agitated all day. It was so bad that I told my husband I just wanted to throw a movie on to distract me until lI went to sleep. Now I had mixed feelings about this. I wasn't sure if watching movies at night is what I should be doing, but I was having such a bad night that I decided it was ok. But I told him we had to watch a "good" in nothing borderline. I definitely have let my standards slip with movies, and that was something I repented of the other night. So we watched "The Ultimate Gift." After the movie was over, mu hubby was already asleep but I was still awake. I threw my headphones on and listened to worship music. I began to slip into my typical way of thinking about God...I was upset and started thinking that because I watched a movie God wasn't going to bless the fast, and that He was going to punish me somehow during the fast. God is so good...I immediately felt the Holy Spirit speak to me. I felt like God was saying "This is not something you have earned or need to continue earning. It is a gift. Just like the movie you watched, this is a gift from Me to you and all you have to do is walk in it and receive it." Amazing. Thank you Jesus for this gift. It is such a weight lifted off to know that I do not have to earn this, but that it is a true gift.

Something else very wonderful happened yesterday...we got our health insurance cards in the mail! I know that doesn't seem very exciting, but it is for me. You see, my husband works 2 jobs and we still barley make enough to get by. We were getting WIC and had Medicaid for health insurance. I didn't mind in the beginning, because that is what it's there for...people who are working hard and trying, but need some assistance. However, I did not feel it was right to continue on these services, especially if we continue to have children. If I trust God to grow my family, then I need to trust Him to provide, and not depend on others to provide for my family. So we decided to enroll with the health insurance at hubby's other job. We were able to enroll before open enrollment on May because we just had a baby. It is expensive and comes at a great sacrifice, but I believe we are being obedient to fact, I know we are and so I not only have abundant peace, but also extreme excitement! Finances are no bigger than any other issue, and my God is bigger than it all. He will supply my needs; its my job to obey. So we got the cards yesterday and I called to cancel Medicaid. We cancelled WIC a while ago, so we are officially off any assistance!

Well, I hope day 5 is better than day 4! I will post again tomorrow, unless something comes to my mind today. God Bless!

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